An Open Letter to my Future Boyfriend/Partner/Husband

That's right, I'm pretty good in the kitchen. 

That's right, I'm pretty good in the kitchen. 

Congratulations! You’ve done the seemingly impossible. You’ve gotten me off online dating forever (hopefully) and made me insanely and deliriously happy.

Although, you have greatly disappointed all of my social media followers. But I digress.

In all seriousness, I want to thank you and acknowledge you for so many things, so I thought I would write you a letter and share it with the world. Because that’s romantic, right?

First I want to thank you for putting in the effort. Dating these days isn’t easy and finding people worth getting to know is even more daunting. Thank you for believing I was one of those people and putting in the time and energy to get to know the real me. On that note, clearly I have some bravado, so getting me to open up and be vulnerable and raw was certainly a challenge. I’m so thankful you relished that challenge and pursued it with vigor. You make me want to be soft and nurturing beneath my hard and tough exterior. And as you know, this is a part of me I love to share. (My love language is Acts of Kindness, after all.) But just because I can throw around heavy weight, doesn’t mean I don’t want you to caress my hair at night while we Netflix and chill. I’m a softie at heart. Just don’t tell anyone, ok. It’ll ruin my image.

Speaking of heavy weight, I’m so glad fitness is important to you and it’s something we can do together. And while you may not CrossFit, being active and healthy is part of your life and I love that we can encourage each other and pursue our own passions, whatever those may be. And of course, it’s awesome being able to try new things with you, from food and wine to fitness. An adventurous spirit makes life worth living. So whether we want to climb a mountain, go bike some hidden trail or learn to surf, knowing we are fit enough to try anything is going to make our later years so much more rewarding…and fun! And your willingness to try new cuisines, get creative in the kitchen and just explore our taste buds will make for some amazing food adventures as well.

And that thirst for adventure is another reason I fell for you. As someone for whom travel and exploration are as vital as breathing, knowing you want to see the world and experience different cultures and perspectives is amazingly sexy. Not only does it help remind us how grateful we are to live in the US and have wealth and freedom, it also reminds us to appreciate those freedoms and not take them for granted. As Mark Twain famously said, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.” I can’t wait to visit every continent with you and hopefully live on another one of them, or maybe more than one! Because I can be spontaneous like that. Life’s too short to be limited.

Of course, I love that you love my amazing son and have embraced him as your own. And I love your children as well. It makes me happy beyond words to have this big beautiful blended family and see the kids all get along and love each other (and fight sometimes too!). I can’t wait until we have lots of grandkids to spoil but I’m not rushing that at all!! I still need to decide what I want to be called because it sure as shit won’t be Grandma! Speaking of shit, thank you for being ok with my expansive and offensive vocabulary and loving that it makes me who I am. It isn’t something that will ever change, so being ok with it is kind of a non-negotiable. (But I do promise to tone it down in front of your parents.)

Where that vocabulary shines is behind the wheel! I love that you do most of the driving so I can keep my road rage in check! Even though I meditate and journal, containing my frustration behind the wheel is going to be a lifelong pursuit, so you will just have to stick it out with me and be thankful for small milestones. I try, I really do. I’ve just come to accept that despite wanting to be Zen behind the wheel, I just don’t see that happening. Unless I’m driving in another country. Then maybe.

As with anything worth pursuing, you know that when I commit to something, I’m all in. So my pursuit of improving not only my body, but my mind, is something I’m very passionate about and plan to make a lifelong journey. Because you should never stop learning or growing. I’m far from perfect, but you know I really do my best to help those I can, spread kindness and not cast judgment upon those for whom I don’t know their struggles. I know my passion can sometimes be misinterpreted, but really I just like sharing what I’ve learned with others. And yes, I can admit I’m not always right (please don’t tell my best friends), it just might be hard for me. But I will acquiesce. I promise.

And finally, thank you for loving those things that might intimidate a lesser man but that make me, me. My outspokenness, my confidence, my rapier wit, my intelligence, how much I love what I do and I'm damn good at it, my ability to go an entire day without sitting down (!) and how I can plan a vacation with aplomb. And of course, being the best Mom I know how to be and raising a strong and sensitive man who makes me proud every day. 

You make me want to do and be better. To me, love is inspiring your partner and always making them want to be the best version of themself. I will always find room for you in my hammock.

I can’t wait to see where this life takes us and I know with you by my side we will be laughing! Just expect me to stop a few times along the way to post pics to the Gram. After all, my people need me. :)