Conquer your fear(s)

This is an ongoing series that offers 26 ways for you to be aware of the things you need to do in order to make change. This is the third in the series. Catch up on the previous posts. 

So this post might be feistier than usual because I wrote the entire FUCKING thing yesterday and when I hit save my web hosting service had an outage and I lost it. So yeah, I'm fired up. You've been warned.

Fear. It might be the single biggest thing that holds us back in every aspect of our lives. And the older we get the more fear we have because we know exactly what could happen...if. When you're a kid you jump on your bike and go. You don't give a second thought to potentially falling off and scraping your knee. You don't have time to worry because you're too busy having fun and living in the moment. You're being present. Actually, being a child might be the ultimate study in being fully present in our life. You aren't thinking about your homework or what chores you still have to do, you're simply playing and having fun with your friends. That is all that matters in that moment. 

So when does that change? When do we start being cautious? When do we start to worry more about the outcome than the moment? When do we start letting fear prevent us from experience, from change and from enjoyment? There's no definitive answer but there is a response. You don't have to let your mind hold you back from living. "The body achieves what the mind believes." My former coach, Orrie, used to say this about pushing through a workout, but it truly applies to anything. Your mind is your most powerful ally and your most dangerous foe. Would you ever talk to a friend the way you let your mind talk to you? (marinate on that for a second) 

Only YOU have the power to tell your mind to shut the fuck up. Only you have the power to tell your mind that yes, you can do it. You CAN start running. You CAN make that box jump. You CAN ask for a raise. You CAN ask that woman or man out. You CAN confront your spouse about cheating. You CAN make healthy choices. YOU have the power. 

Now, I don't expect you to be able to shift your mindset overnight. Just like our weight loss and fitness journeys are exactly that — journeys, so is changing your mental state. You won't just wake up one day and think yes, I'm invincible and I can do whatever I put my mind to. (and if you do, congrats, you're amazing!) For most of us, it takes a lifetime to conquer our fears. To push down that self doubt and believe we're worthy, we're strong, we're capable. Like that fitness journey, it's about small actionable steps you can take that you know you can commit to. Small changes that will lead to big results. 

So here's some homework: 

  1. Write down two or three of your biggest fears.
  2. Then write down what's holding you back from conquering each of them. Be as honest with yourself and detailed as possible. 
  3. Then write down small things you can do every day to change that mindset.
    • Do you need to repeat a mantra in front of the mirror?
    • Do you need to tell a close friend to be accountable?
    • Do you need to go talk to a therapist? 
    • Create small actionable steps that won't overwhelm you but might push you a little out of your comfort zone. 
  4. I want you to look at this list EVERY single day and face it head on. Don't shove it in a drawer to fester. Confront it and tell your mind that you can and will push yourself to change. Hold yourself accountable.

Because what's the worst that can happen? A week, a month or a year from now, you're still fearful. You still haven't changed. That's the WORST thing that could happen. BFD. But what are some of the good things that could happen? You could shake that self doubt. You could be more confident. You could be happier. You could do something you never thought possible. Those are the BEST things.

So which do you choose?