Choose You


Author’s note: You might have noticed my absence for a while. I was both blessed and cursed to have my professional life pick up exponentially these past few months and so the side hustle had to take a back seat. But I'm going to do my best to maintain a steady schedule even if things get crazy again, which they might. Thanks for sticking with me!

Every morning I leave my building to head to CrossFit. I’m dressed in my gym clothes and have my enormous bag on my shoulder. I’m also usually holding my protein shake and coffee. And every morning there are people sitting outside my building…smoking. At 8am. Or earlier. Some of them have children. All are either obese or emaciated. There seems to be no middle ground. And it makes me wonder what they think when they see me walk by. Knowing I am doing something good for my body and they aren’t. Do they even allow themselves to think like that?

Most of you know I don’t believe in God, but for those that do, if God made you in his image, do you think he (or she) would be happy with how you’re representing that image? This isn’t about judgment. It’s about choice. How do you choose to live your life? How do you choose to respect the one body you’ve been given? There are no do-overs in this world, and regardless of what you think might happen after you die, shouldn’t you choose to live as much as you fucking can now? Don’t you deserve that?

Today I was coming into my basement entrance and it requires fingerprint entry. There was a very large woman sitting outside because her finger wasn’t working. Now, she could have easily walked 200 feet to the main entrance where the doorman is and waltzed into the building, but it was evident that would have been too much effort. And when we got into the elevator, she pushed the 3rd floor. That’s two flights of stairs. All I could think if what if she woke up one day and started walking those two flights of stairs. Imagine how she could change her life if she chose to. Again, we all have paths and we can alter them whenever and however we want.

Recently I was in Prague on vacation and spontaneously (I wasn’t drunk but we did have some drinks) my friend and I decided to get tattoos. I already have one but it’s 20+ years old and I had been planning another with my son’s name, but somehow in our discussions we both wanted something about love. After much research and some soul searching I decided on Love Fearlessly. Why? Because one thing I know I need to choose is how to open myself up to real, honest, raw and vulnerable love. I am a fortress of strength and who wants to love that? Not many people. People need to see you can be needy, you can be vulnerable, you can be weak. All of these things aren’t easy for me. But this tattoo is a reminder for me to choose to be vulnerable. To, as Brené Brown has said, Dare Greatly. I need to step off the ledge and just fall. No parachute. No trampoline. Just fall.

Everything we do has a choice behind it. What will you choose today?